


FFNET Documentary

by The FireFox



Category: Zoids
Genre: Humor, Parody
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2002-11-20
Updated: 2003-07-27
Packaged: 2013-05-08 15:55:52
Rating: T
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,926
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1076374/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/207655/The-FireFox
Summary: Ch. One- The Raven Fangirl. A documentary exploring the normal RF and their tribal ways. Join Ted as he ventures deep into RF land to learn more about these mysterious creatures and their ways. Ch. 2 the Van FG





	1. The Forbidding Raven Fan girl

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Disclaimer(s): Your lucky number is 32345543423225. Watch for it everywhere.

Fire Fox: I want to take this time to say that I do not mean to offend ne one. I have the greatest respects to all those who actually take the time to post their works on FF.Net.

During this chapter, remember I am mainly making fun of my self. I really do like all the Raven fans out there. 

So please don't take nething to seriously. It's just fun!!!! 

**__**

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NOW

THE FIRE FOX CAUTIOUSLY PRESENTS

A FFN DOCUMENTARY

Episode One- The Forbidding Raven Fan girl

"On today's show, we travel deep into the Zoids subsection to study the daunting Raven Fan Girl, who we will label RF. A fairly new creature to FF.net, but one that is growing in population each day. In fact, according to recent studies, this group is almost as feared as the B/L gangs." 

"Amazing."

"I, Ned Permeable, will be your guide through the dangerous lair of the Raven Fan girl on today's FFN Documentary."

**__**

« ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « Commercial« ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § 

Does your Zoids battle need that extra ummph?

If so, you might want to consider buying an organoid from your local MegaLowMax* Mart.

"My organoid, Shadow, is my best friend! He has saved my life a number of times. And he gives me that extra edge when I am killing things," said Raven, giving a thumbs up.

"Never mind, we STILL haven't really off'ed Van, yet." Raven does a shifty eye glance. "SHADOW!!"

Go buy your organoid, TODAY!!! And help the economy! Organoids come in an assortment of colors. Each to suit your own personality.

The unknown, fast voice says, "Organoids do not always grantee a successful day of pillaging and pilots having an organoid are still subject to the law once they are caught. 

**__**

« ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « Another Commercial« ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « 

Do you need your fortune told? If so call 1-900-Mistress- Ryss

She can help you solve all your personal and business problems. And it is all confidential, too! Just read about some of the problems she helped solved in her new book _Mistress Ryss Explains It All_!!

"Come on' now. Don't be afraid of your future. It is happening all around you. Forget going to your psychiatrist with all your problems. Call me, Mistress Ryss!" said M. Ryss in a phony Jamaican accent. 

"The first ten minutes are only $.10, during which you will probably be put on hold. Then you are charged $10 per minute. Don't actually call, since Mistress Ryss has been shut down by the Zoidain Business Bureau," said a fast voice.

**__**

« ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ End Commercials§ « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § 

"We are now back. During the commercials, I, Ned Permeable, have traveled to the cave where vivacious RF's live. Here we see the natural habitat of the Raven fan girl. Notice how they have speedily erected an onyx statue in his honor using only pointed popsicle sticks to carve it." 

"Amazing."

*Camera shows a huge statue of Raven and many girls dancing around it.*

"We now are seeing a rare event: the weekly burning of something in honor of Raven. Raven fan girls are known for their love of destruction and Raven. Here they have combined both of these loves into a weekly ritual."

*Camera shows a horrid of girls dancing around a chicken barbeque*

"We don't know why these girls seem to like burning random things, it must be one of the tribal customs that our civilized minds can't understand."

"Wait, look! It seems that a disagreement among the girls about who shall have the honor of ripping the flesh of their captured prey in order to please the giant Raven."

*Camera shows two girls fighting over the chicken*

"They now have decided to battle for the right of pleasing the giant Raven."

"Amazing."

"It seems like for some reason the sacramental battle has stopped, we can't fathom the reasons for such a ceremonial right to have stopped. But look! It seems that a new contestant wanting the right to please the giant Raven has entered."

*Camera shows a HUGE fox composed of fire standing on a cliff overlooking the barbeque and Raven statue.*

"It seems we are in store for a RARE treat! One of the oldest and most powerful know Raven fan girl…er.. fox type thingy..has emerged. We of the FFN Documentary call her Four Foot."

"Amazing."

"Look how the other fan girls give way to this prestigious figure in the RF tribe."

*Camera shows all the other girls backing up in hopes of not getting singed by the HUGE fire fox. The two other girls have frozen in mid-fight.*

"It seems the ruckus has disturbed Four Foot, probably from some long, complicated ritual in tribute to the giant Raven."

*Camera shows Four Foot yawning, groggily. She blinks her eyes rapidly, getting use to the light.*

"It seems she has decided to intervene on the fight for the right to honor the giant Raven."

*Camera shows fire engulfing Four Foot and a puff of smoke. The HUGE fox is replaced by a redheaded girl with a fox head hat thing. Suddenly, her eyes grew starry at the sight of something.*

"It seems like Four Foot has spotted something. Perhaps it is the figure the statue is modeled after, Raven, himself."

*Camera shows all the other girls looking around for Raven. While all the other girls aren't looking Four Foot grabs the chicken and runs leaving the others in a cloud of confusion.*

"It seems that Four Foot has deemed that the sacrifice will be retribution for disturbing her ceremony. Now that the sacrifice is gone, all the other Raven fan girls leave and search for something else to destroy." 

*Camera shows the girls realizing that Four Foot has stolen their barbeque and leaving. They seem to be mouthing the words, "We've been had." Whatever that means^.^*

"I have only one word for such a magnificent display: Amazing."

**__**

« ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § Commercial« ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § 

Are you tired of pathetic politicians? Are you tired to the elderly and young? Are you tired of the weak in general?

Well, elections are coming up and your vote can change everything. Vote the right way. Vote the Hiltz way.

"If you vote for me for world emperor I will eradicate all the weak from the face of Zi with my mighty Death Stinger! Just ask my good buddy, Ambient."

"rrggggg." (Sure he will. Maybe he will….)

"That's enough out'a you," says Hiltz as he throws a rock at Ambient. "Like my campaign says, 'Vote the Hiltz way' or Ambient and I will blow you up!!!!"

"Paid for by the "Elect Hiltz World Emperor So He Won't Kill Us" campaign. But in reality, even if elected Hiltz will still kill everyone. That includes you," said a speedily, disembodied voice.

**__**

« ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § Another Commercial« ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § 

Hiltz says he is a "tough" guy, but in reality he is the SOFT one.

He has been spotted at the local animal shelter playing with the puppies and kittens.

*Camera shows a picture of Hiltz playing with a small puppy and kitten.*

Helping out at the local soup kitchen.

*Camera shows Hiltz wearing a 'Kiss the Cook' apron.*

And teaching poor, ugly, under-privileged kids.

*Camera shows Hiltz hugging a poor, ugly, underprivileged kid.*

So vote for the best candidate for World Emperor. Rudolph Zeppelin the Third.

"This add was paid for by 'The Friend of Getting to Live' Campaign," said a rapid, intangible voice.

**__**

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"We are back now! Where you might ask? Simple, we are at a battle ground where a war is about to take place. The battleground is a common place to find Raven fan girls. They seem to enjoy fighting and blood. Here, at the battleground, they train themselves to be worthy of the Raven fan girl name. They hope to model themselves to help Raven in any way that they can."

"It seems another tribe of fan girls has desecrated the RF's holy statue. The suspicion around the tribe is that it was a "Van fan girl" or as we like to call them VF's." 

"VF's are the Raven fan girl tribe's mortal enemy! VF's stand for everything that Raven fan girls abhor, like goodness, peace, and someone trying to kill Raven."

"Raven fan girls are always picking fights with Van fan girls in hopes of pleasing the giant Raven, for the giant Raven MUST be pleased at all costs."

"Another legendary RF makes a rare appearance. She is also among the founders of the vast RF tribal empire. We have labeled this one "Alak". It is rumored that her powers are equal to that of Four Foot."

*Camera shows a group of RF's with Alak talking to the other girls. VF's are on the opposite side of the battle field.*

"Of the two (Four Foot& Alak), Alak is considered the more aggressive. ,while Four Foot enjoys 'chases'. She will only fight when Alak is not around to protect the honor of her tribe's namesake. Though at times, she has been known to start fights, she mainly likes to sleep."

"Alak, on the other hand, seems to relish nothing more than tearing enemies, especially VF's, apart. Although not all of her crusades can be considered successful. She makes a great commander of the formidable RF tribe."

"Amazing."

*Camera shows both tribes charging each other. VF's start to "blow up" RF's*

"One of the weirder things about RF's that make them perfect fighters is their ability not to be killed by explosions. Scientists hypothesize that this ability not to be killed by explosions is an inert defense triggered by angry authors always killing random RF's." 

"Amazing."

"Oh wait! The tides of battle seem to be turning AGAINST the Raven fan girls. It seems the VF's have another trick up their sleeve!"

*Camera shows all the Raven fan girls, including the powerful Alak, frozen in horror. With eyes filled with terror they make a speedy retreat.*

"It seems the Van fan girl tribe has resorted to their secret weapon, perkiness. See how the RF's loathe anything 'happy'? In fact, it is guessed that 'happiness' has the same effect on RF's as sunlight has on vampires."

"Amazing."

**__**

« ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § Commercial« ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § 

We here at _Sounds of Zi_ have now released a new CD by the hit star, Moon of Bay!

We are proud to introduce her smash single "Transporter of the Lands of Waste" on a new 27 CD set.

She wasn't joking by saying, "It's the song that never ends!"

Order today! For only $19.95 by calling 1-800- Moon- of- Bay.

"Shipping and handling is an additional $59.01 in the Empire, and $89.04 in the Republic. There is really no reason for the inflation of charges besides the fact that _Sounds of Zi _ just likes to rip off people from the Republic," says a fast, strange voice.

**__**

« ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § More Commercials « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § « ¤ § 

Do the girls just not "go" for you? Are you considered boring and dull? 

*Camera shows a boring and dull guy with girls ignoring him.*

Than you should buy Irvine's pirate eye patch! It makes you look cool and thrilling! The girls will flock to you! In fact, they will chase after you like rabid fan girls! 

*Camera shows an exiciting and cool guy with an Irvine pirate eye patch in the same clothes as the latter in hopes of trying to pass them off as the same person.*

"What girl in her right mind can resist a sexy, Irvine pirate look-alike?" asks Irvine. "Besides the different scopes allow to see different things. Like this scopes is for X-Ray vision so you can….

FFN IS EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES

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"We now find ourselves following the legendary fan girls Four Foot and Alak. They are demonstrating RF's most practical skill. They are hunting for Raven! This hunt takes skill and diligence."

"We know see Alak and Four Foot on such a hunt. They have whittled away many an hour doing such a time-honored tradition. However, prestige is often not enough to "catch" the Raven. Luck plays an important role in the hunt. Many young, non-experienced RF's have often beaten these two to the prize as it where."

*Camera shows Four Foot and Alak foraging among the hills for Raven.*

"Look to the right! Can you believe our luck! As it happens, it is our luck, or should I say Four Foot's and Alak's, that we have stumbled upon….RAVEN!!!! This is a rare event, indeed."

*Camera shows Raven walking over a random hill and Alak spotting him, while Four Foot is looking under a rock.*

"See how the truce of the two is quickly severed as Alak gains a head start over Four Foot. But sensing something is amiss, Four Foot quickly notices Alak running towards Raven."

*Camera shows Raven being chased by Alak and closely followed by Four Foot.*

"But wait, it seems Four Foot remembers one of her talents. See how she turns into her fox form, taking advantage of its superior speed."

*Camera shows Four Foot starting to gain ground on Alak.*

"But wait, another development. It seems Four Foot has spotted something shiny. It is a well-known fact that Four Foot likes shiny objects. It seems a golden plate full of chicken, pie, and money is off to the side."

"It appears that Four Foot is caught between the proverbial rock and a hard place. The plate is full of Four Foot's favorite things; if she leaves the plate it will be gone when she gets back. But if she chooses the plate she loses her chance with Raven."

"Four Foot seems to be slowing under the stress of having to choose. Look, she does a 180 and goes for the plate, leaving Raven for Alak!"

*Camera shows Four Foot happily munching on chicken and counting her money, shrugging her shoulders, "Easy come, easy go." Alak is smiling devilishly. Makes you wonder^.^*

"Amazing."

**__**

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Fire Fox- So who did ya like it? Remember, it was just something I wrote for fun. I hope Kala likes the end^.^

Do you think I should do one for another group of fan girls/boys? 

Raven- They all probably think it is crap.

Fire Fox- Probably. Shut up you! *Hits Raven w/ a rolling pen.*

Please review.

I love Raven. See ya.


	2. The Estranged Van Fangirl

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Disclaimer: There are two things on earth that are universal: hydrogen and stupidity.

Fire Fox- Okay, here's the deal-ie-o yo^_^! Someone asked me to write a Van fan girl fic^_^ So, I said I would write one if she reviewed my story. I really didn't think that she would, and guess what? She did. Wow. 

So now, my fic, All Things Yesterday Left Behind, has four reviews. V.v *hint...hint....(you should go read it^_~...hint) 

So, anyways, I just want to repeat what I said last chapter. This is all for fun. So if anything offends you outrageously, please, remember I am NOT making fun of you personally. Besides I already made fun of myself. ^-^

I have the greatest respect for anyone who is a fan girl or fan guy. Especially those who actually take the time to write and post it on the net.

**_

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NOW

THE FIRE FOX FINALLY PRESENTS

A FFN DOCUMENTARY

Chapter Two- The Estranged Van Fan-girl

"Strange happenings have been occurring lately at FFNET. Today, Bob Nixon at Channel 447 News plans to go undercover to find it's mysterious origin. Now we travel back into the Zoids sub-section in search of a powerful, covert communal."

"Peculiar,"

"I, Bob Nixon, will go under-cover in search of the answers to this peculiar puzzle that plagues people's percipience."

**_

_**

«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§ Commercial «¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§

Do you want to blow up your school and/or work place?

Do you want power?

You should buy Karl's Gravity Cannon at your local MegaLowMax*Mart.

"OPPPSS! My heavens, I accidentally pulled the trigger of my Karl's Gravity Cannon and the school just happened to be smashed beyond repair. My bad!" says some no name kid.

"You thought the Charge Particle Gun was powerful? Well MY gun can destroy a small village," Karl gives as wink, "And act now, and with each purchase of a Karl's Gravity Cannon, you can get a genuine imitation Karl Hat!" 

The microscopic text at the bottom of the screen reads: Karl does not condone the use of the Gravity Cannon to blow up higher education buildings. But we still used it for our ad, because…..why not? 

**_

_**

«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§Another Commercial¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§

Do you really want a long-haired hippy boy to rule the world?

*shows picture of Rudolph in a tye-dyed shirt*

Do you really think a boy who hasn't even finished elementary school is mentally fit to rule the world?

*shows a picture of a guy dressed up like Rudolf writing out his numbers '1, 5, 3, 0, …'*

Do you really want a boy who runs around with a rather 'questionable' crowd?

*Shows Dr.D and all his "girls"*

"Do you really want a boy like Rudolph to rule the world? I think not!" says Hiltz. "You should vote the Hiltz way and vote for me! One fan girl can't be wrong!"

The text that just so happens to be the exact same color as the background would have read: Some of the pictures may have been taken out of context or completely made up. But that doesn't matter, because if you try to sue Hiltz, he will have you killed.

**_

_**

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"We are back from our commercial break, now. We have followed the trail of clues to this meeting. It seems an anonymous tip has been discovered concerning the disappearance of certain authors. And what do all these authors have in common? They bash Van."

"Peculiar."

"It seems that a new group has emerged and is making its way across the zoids section: The Van Fan-girl, co-named the VF's for short."

*camera shows a 'gathering' of all the VF's.*

"Do not underestimate these VF's. Though, they are young in the FF.Net category Anime, subcategory Zoids, they are ferocious in defending the name of their 'Communal Leader' Van."

*camera shows the girls bowing down before a banner with Van's picture on it with an un-named, random blonde headed character X'ed out.*

"To the normal eye, they seem quite harmless, but do NOT be deceived by their strange ways. The VF's are very vicious. They are not the Raven Fans mortal enemy for anything!"

*camera shows a group of VF's playing with knives and stacking guns to make strange structures. Others are running with scissors 0.0 And other reckless, dangerous acts*

"Even though they are widely known for their marvelous gun play, it is not that which makes VF's so precariously perilous! As the RF's have learned after many encounters, it is their....perkiness!"

"Their un-ending optimism about the world, trust in humanity, love for life, and etc...is their real power. It is enough to make any sane person take a few steps back away from the perky light."

*camera shows RF's and VF's in battle. The VF's suddenly start saying how all life is good

and precious. They start to 'huggle' the RF's saying things like 'I know you are really NOT pure evil, but just misunderstood.' The RF's quickly flee. The VF's do a victory dance, which strangely looks like the Hokey Pokey*

"Bod Nixon has only one word to describe such happenings: Peculiar."

**_

_**

«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§ Commercial «¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§

Is your hair flat? Not pointy at all? Do not fear! Rob Hermann's special style hair gel is just what you need!

Go from boring, dull normal hair....

*camera shows a girl with brown flat hair, big glass, overweight, pimples, etc*

To slightly dangerous, exotic pointy hair!

*camera shows a girl with sharp pointy hair, big 'doe' eyes, skinny, big breasts, etc*

Do _you_ want to have that slightly dangerous appeal? Then hurry to your local MegaLowMax* Mart and buy Rob Hermann's Porcupine Hair Gel, now!!!

The text at the bottom of the screen that is invisible to the unaided human eye reads: Rob Hermann's Porcupine Hair Gel is not responsible for any injuries that occur while using the product, like the loss of an eye(s) or stab wounds. Rob Hermann's Porcupine Hair Gel is a product of Camford Republic Cosmetics.

**_

_**

«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§Another Commercial¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§

*camera shows a sad, little boy alone, in the dark, crying alone. He looks outside only to see sunshine, birds, happy/beautiful children frolicking, and dogs running.*

Just think, you sad little person, you too could have better self-esteem in a matter of weeks! You too could be outside!

"I wish I could be outside with everyone else and be happy," said the sad little boy.

For only 27 payments of $89.35 ($99.89 if you live in the Republic), you CAN be outside! You can be happy! Your pets will be feed and stay alive! Your 'friends' won't 'forget' to invite you to their weddings! Reserve your copy of Specula's Self Improvement Tapes today!

If you can't afford 27 payments of $89.35 ($99.89 Republic), then well you'll just have to remain without a life, hope, and friendless, you stupid loser! So if you don't want to remain a failure..a loser...a failure loser all alone...reserve your copy of Specula's Self Improvement Tapes NOW!!!

"Thanks to Specula's Self Improvement Tapes, I learned how much better I am than everyone over night, while I slept!" said the now happy little boy.

*camera shows the happy little boy about to go outside into the sunshine and play with all the other children...but than a sudden storm appears. All the happy children go inside and all the depressed people stand out in the rain* (author's note- o.o wow...this commercial really makes you think)

"Specula's Self Improvement Tapes denys any claims that there are subliminal messages telling the sleepers to destroy things. If you have any sudden urge to use your telepathic powers to control blue bugs and take over people's mind...seek help. Specula's Self Improvement Tapes are not responsible," said a high-pitched speedy voice, intelligible to the common ear. 

**__**

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"We now have been tracking a smaller group of VF's in their natural habitat. Why this group? Because they were the first ones we saw! But one seems to be very good at the 'perky attack'. However, her perkiness is not from talent alone...."

*camera shows a small girl taking deep breaths..repeatedly*

*camera zooms out to show a small girl taking to be inhaling something that looks a lot like...(0.o Gasp!!!) Soap.*

"Yes, this rabid VF tends to get a sort of strange perky power from those small bars. The research team back at the FF.Net base believe that these small bars hold a type of chemical that enhances VF's normal perkiness to extraordinary levels. The CareBears hold nothing to this VF after she is done absorbing her 'perky pill'. The scientists back at the lab have affectionately named her BafFling or BF for short."

"Peculiar."

*camera shows a the same small girl bouncing around and sniffing random objects.*

"Yet, that wasn't even the forte of her powers. BF can get this 'hyper' off of anything, except for clocks...Bob Nixon thinks it must be one of life's little mysteries."

"Oh, look. We are now about to witness the dark side of VF's as the rest of BafFling's gang has stumbled up an author that was making fun of Van's hair."

*camera shows a group of authors. One is mouthing the words, 'Yeah, well at least Irvine doesn't have a mullet!' Suddenly darkness descends*

"The poor author has the worst timing Bob Nixon has ever seen. Poor girl. Perhaps Madame Ryss could have forseen this had she not been shut down for fraud. Or not. Well, we are now going to see VFs in action! The poor girl will never know what hit her until it is too late."

*camera shows two girls creep out of the shadows behind the aforementioned unlucky author. Stealthy they grab the girl and retreat back into the shadows. The girl didn't even have time to scream.*

"Oddly enough, the last characteristics displayed by the VF's seem to be a combination of attack styles seen in Bit/Leena Mobs and amazingly Raven Fan-Girls. Others say Madame Ryss's style can also be seen. But Bob Nixon has only word to describe such an phenomenal display of VF patterns."

"Peculiar." 

**__**

«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§ News Flash....News Flash....News Flash **_«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§«¤§_**

"Hello, I'm Ted BrokeAll. Tragedy has struck in the political arena once again. An assassination attempt against World Emperor Candidate Rudolph Zeppelin the Third."

"He was shoved off a cliff while filming his latest campaign commercial. Though there were several eye witnesses to the horrific crime. No suspect has been identified by Regent Prozen."

"Though friends of Rudolph suspect it was most likely one of Hiltz's more extreme loyalist."

*camera shows a strange 'dog' like animal running past Rudolph and shoving him off a cliff*

"However, thanks to quick thinking and modern plastics, Rudolph is well on his way to a complete recovery."

"This was Ted BrokeAll for channel 447 news. Tune into night to find out more about the charges against Dr. D's science magazine _Exotic Zoids: Parts Revealed._ As a local resident claims the magazine is just a porn magazine in the disguise of a national science magazine.

"Dr. D claims people read the articles, and the girls are just part of the 'natural habit'."

"We now return to the regularly scheduled program, which has been in progress."

**__**

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"That was one of the most brilliant displays of Fan-girl-ness Bob Nixon has ever seen in his entire life! Bob Nixon is literally speechless! That perhaps was the most amazing display of....EVERYTHING!"

"How the VF's banded together in punishing...how the author escaped....the desertion....the deception....Wow! How the hapless author was able to call on other fan tribes!" 

"Bob Nixon feels incredibly lucky to be here to see this, and so should you, the viewer! That perhaps was the most amazing thing Bob Nixon has seen in all Bob Nixon's life! And trust Bob Nixon, Bob Nixon has seen a lot."

"Peculiar."

"We now will join BF the VF in her hunting grounds. After the PHENOMENAL events, BF is now hunting for her 'ultimate high' Van. She has been known to become violent on such hunts. Even result to bodily harm to her competition. Just take a look at this pre-recorded footage."

*camera shows BF walking around with her shoe laces untied. She 'accidently' steps on them and tumbles forward...towards a cliff!! (Gasp, the horror o.o) She manages to swerve around some random old woman, but unfortunately slams into some big busted, blonde. Thus, sending the unlucky woman tumbling down the cliffs*

"The perplexity of BF's puzzling plan still eludes the scientists till this day. Bob Nixon cannot help but wonder why that seemingly random woman was chosen...perhaps Bob Nixon will never know."

"Oh, look! The object of BF's plans has wondered into her newest trap! Yes, this will be exciting to view! But Bob Nixon feels it is only appropriate to say that it might be scarring to the younger viewers."

*camera shows Van walking a huge mound of dirt...but on a closer inspection the mound is entirely made of socks!*

"Much like the trap-drop spider or various other dangerous predators, BF has cleverly camouflaged herself and her proverbial 'spider web'. See how she wastes no time or motion in snagging her prey and bringing it to its ultimate doom!"

*camera shows Van walking by the mound of socks only to have BF poop out of them, grab him, and pull him back into the shadowy domain of socks.*

"Peculiar."

"But wait! Another VF has wondered onto the scene!"

*camera shows another girl with glasses starting to make a run for Van before BafFling gets him all the way into her den of socks*

"The comradery the VF's shared back at the previous incident has long since dissolved now that Van has appeared on the scene."

*camera shows the two girl fighting over Van. Van appears to notice smoke coming over the hill. Suddenly he seems to start yelling words over the VF's screams.*

"Wait! It seems Van has figured out a way of escape. But what can he mean by shouting out 'Raven' and 'Shadow'. Surely he doesn't expect his arch rival to help him."

"Peculiar."

*camera continues to focus on the VF's tugging at Van. Each trying to claim him as her own. But the smoke in the background seems to be getting thicker...and wait...closer*

"What can this smoke mean?"

*camera shows a head peeping over the hill...a foxy head! On hearing the words 'Raven' and 'Shadow' being cried out, the fox makes a mad dash towards the scene.*

"Van's master plan was to gain the attention of Four Foot! As you may remember from our last episode, Four Foot is a powerful RF! In fact, do to carelessness on Ned's part, she is why Bob Nixon is here instead of Ned. Bod Nixon would like to take this time to say that Bob Nixon hopes Ned has a speedy recovery and the burn scars go down." 

*camera shows Four Foot running down the hill at full force and fire blazing wildly around her. At the sight of the gigantic, slightly crazed fox tumbling down the hill, both VF's stop fighting and just stare. Mass panic ensues when Four Foot accidentally sets fire to BafFling's mound of socks.*

*camera shows mass panic and mayhem. As the two VF's try to put out the fires and Four Foot is looking all around for Raven, and thus starting new fires.*

*camera shows Van escaping in the background. Four Foot is looking around confused and finally seeing only BF, another VF, and a charred pile of socks. She mouths the words, 'HIGH BF!'*

"Peculiar."

"Well, we are out of time today. Bob Nixon would like to take some more time to say that while people say Bob Nixon speaks in third person all the time is just to hear Bob Nixon's name, that is untrue. Bob Nixon has reasons for doing so...yeah."

**__**

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Fire Fox- Well there you go. All I have to say is that I tried. And I'm sorry. Well, I was asked to write this so blame someone else who shall remain nameless^_^;;;;

Raven- She must be insaner than I thought.

Fire Fox- Insaner isn't a word.

Please take pity on me and review.

I love Raven. See ya.


End file.
